18TH BIRTHDAY!

So… it’s my birthday today. 

I hope this year something will change (for better). 

I want to fight my demons and not give up.

In few days/ weeks I’ll be hospitalized. 

I know that my family, friends, doctors and psychologist want to help me.

And I think I should be ready to accept this help and start the recovery. 

It’ll be a LONG AND HARD journey… 

My biggest wish for today is… to eat my birthday cake and NOT feel guilty and fat. 

And I won’t let any suicidal thoughts cross my mind tomorrow. 

I want to enjoy this day.. 

It’s my 18th birthday. I’m “adult”. 

I’m not a child anymore, so I shouldn’t act like one.

I don’t believe in myself, I don’t see any positive future for me… 

But I’ll try to change that and I’ll give happiness a go. 

And from that place I’d like to say thank you to all my friends, to my family and of course to my psychologist (the best!!!)… I know that neither my family and psychologist won’t read this, but I don’t care. I hope that at least two of my friends will read the words below:

YOU ARE THE BEST. I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU. I DON’T KNOW, WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT YOU <3 You are the reason I didn’t really give up. I had really hard moments, but I’m still alive, so I made it. I got to this point thanks to you. Cause you didn’t give up on me, when I did give up on myself.  

I’m so thankful and glad to have people like you around me. I’m really lucky. I should start to appreciate that, so why not make my 18th birthday a turning point? 

So I hope I am strong enough to make this, 

freshcleanfit:

A few months ago I made this post with wintry animals, but now it is summertime and here are some summer-loving animals checking in on you! be good to yourselves! :)

20
revolve:

fragileminded:

hiddlestonhug:

laylacon:

tropical-cave:

tropical-cave:

brianmchale:

welcometomylifeex3:

raquelsh0lding0ntillmay:

foundmywaywheniwaslost:

alittledoseofsunshine:

sort-of-un-balanced:

I posted this three times tonight and had three people tell me that I helped save their life. Thank you to those people who have decided to struggle through to let us enjoy the gift of one more day of their prescence gracing us all. I hope that you all reblog this, to save another few. Because we all dserve another chance and hope in life. I went to the hospital 6 times before I decided to keep my life but I hope none of you suffer that much. And I hope you all can make that scary, seemingly painful, blind, hoping, wonderful step to live.
I want to help you in any way I can. ANYTHING. I mean it. If I had had someone stay with me and text me or talk to me all night, just one time, it would have changed my life. I know how hard those nights can be.
&lt;3,
Love,
Emily

^I love this girl more than words can express.  

foundmywaywheniwaslost: I am always here if anyone ever needs to talk/vent. You have a purpose, Please Stay Alive. &lt;3

Not just for tonight but for the rest of your life. You have so much to look forward to in the future that if you choose to kill yourself, it will be the biggest mistake of your life. You’re going to miss out on people you’ll never be able to meet, kids you’ll never have, a partner to love or partys to go to. There’s just too much that you’ll miss out on. You deserve and have the right to be here as much as the person next to you does. You’re just a drop in the ocean. You were meant to be here and you have a purpose. Don’t ever forget that. And if you feel like you don’t, just believe in yourself because you do. If you ever feel worthless or like shit, know that I love you and those dicks that tell you shit are jealous that you’re who you are because there’s something about you that they wish they could have. Please stay strong and never give up because things DO GET BETTER.

3rd time I reblog this xx

Keep your self awake, I hope your here to stay. This day is not yet over, let me be your four leaf clover.

Reblogged it and queued it so it’ll post tomorrow too. And the next day and the next so I hope I can save someone. We all love you.

someone messaged me this morning saying it helped and thanked me, so im reblogging this again, and queuing it. stay strong guys. 

I reblog this whenever I see it. If you don’t reblog it, unfollow me right now. If you don’t care enough to put this simple picture on your blog, I’m judging you.

The very first time that I reblogged this, I had someone message me the next day saying that because of me, they didn’t kill themself. From then on whenever I see anything like this on Tumblr it’s an instant reblog for me. After receiving that message it just changed something in me. Whenever anyone I see on my dash is having thoughts of self-harm or even suicide, I automatically go to their page and offer them even just an ear to listen. Nearly all of them I receive messages back from saying that they are grateful, and they end up sharing their story with me, and in return I give them advice as best I can. Several of them have said that their lives have gotten much better because they opened up and sought out help.
Out of those people, I’d say at least 5  have even gone so far as to say that they didn’t kill themself because of me. That is, I kid you not, the best feeling in the world.

I needed this reminder. 

Thank you..

I needed this &lt;3

revolve:

fragileminded:

hiddlestonhug:

laylacon:

tropical-cave:

tropical-cave:

brianmchale:

welcometomylifeex3:

raquelsh0lding0ntillmay:

foundmywaywheniwaslost:

alittledoseofsunshine:

sort-of-un-balanced:

I posted this three times tonight and had three people tell me that I helped save their life. Thank you to those people who have decided to struggle through to let us enjoy the gift of one more day of their prescence gracing us all. I hope that you all reblog this, to save another few. Because we all dserve another chance and hope in life. I went to the hospital 6 times before I decided to keep my life but I hope none of you suffer that much. And I hope you all can make that scary, seemingly painful, blind, hoping, wonderful step to live.

I want to help you in any way I can. ANYTHING. I mean it. If I had had someone stay with me and text me or talk to me all night, just one time, it would have changed my life. I know how hard those nights can be.

<3,

Love,

Emily

^I love this girl more than words can express.  

foundmywaywheniwaslost: I am always here if anyone ever needs to talk/vent. You have a purpose, Please Stay Alive. <3

Not just for tonight but for the rest of your life. You have so much to look forward to in the future that if you choose to kill yourself, it will be the biggest mistake of your life. You’re going to miss out on people you’ll never be able to meet, kids you’ll never have, a partner to love or partys to go to. There’s just too much that you’ll miss out on. You deserve and have the right to be here as much as the person next to you does. You’re just a drop in the ocean. You were meant to be here and you have a purpose. Don’t ever forget that. And if you feel like you don’t, just believe in yourself because you do. If you ever feel worthless or like shit, know that I love you and those dicks that tell you shit are jealous that you’re who you are because there’s something about you that they wish they could have. Please stay strong and never give up because things DO GET BETTER.

3rd time I reblog this xx

Keep your self awake, I hope your here to stay. This day is not yet over, let me be your four leaf clover.

Reblogged it and queued it so it’ll post tomorrow too. And the next day and the next so I hope I can save someone. We all love you.

someone messaged me this morning saying it helped and thanked me, so im reblogging this again, and queuing it. stay strong guys. 

I reblog this whenever I see it. If you don’t reblog it, unfollow me right now. If you don’t care enough to put this simple picture on your blog, I’m judging you.

The very first time that I reblogged this, I had someone message me the next day saying that because of me, they didn’t kill themself. From then on whenever I see anything like this on Tumblr it’s an instant reblog for me. After receiving that message it just changed something in me. Whenever anyone I see on my dash is having thoughts of self-harm or even suicide, I automatically go to their page and offer them even just an ear to listen. Nearly all of them I receive messages back from saying that they are grateful, and they end up sharing their story with me, and in return I give them advice as best I can. Several of them have said that their lives have gotten much better because they opened up and sought out help.

Out of those people, I’d say at least 5  have even gone so far as to say that they didn’t kill themself because of me. That is, I kid you not, the best feeling in the world.

I needed this reminder. 

Thank you..

I needed this <3

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